One of my favorite books I read last year during my 112 Books Reading Challenge was 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin. A friend picked out this book for me. Immediately intrigued by the title, I knew this would be a book I wanted to give my undivided attention. For that reason, I saved it to read on a trip to Miami. I LOVED all 13 chapters, the ones that really spoke to me are bolded:
- They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry For Themselves
- They Don’t Give Away Their Power
- They Don’t Shy Away from Change
- They Don’t Focus On The Things They Can’t Control
- They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
- They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
- They Don’t Dwell On the Past
- They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
- They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
- They Don’t Give Up After the First Time
- They Don’t Fear Alone Time
- They Don’t Feel The World Owes Them Anything
- They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
A few themes that spoke to me were patience and fear. In the chapter 4, it discusses fear being a reason why we feel the need to control things. I've learned when I feel afraid it manifests itself in several ways: worry, procrastination, micro-managing, indecision, and overworking. I never thought of the whys behind needing to feel in control of most situations. It also never occurred to me how liberated I could feel if I simply relinquished the need to micro manage the details of my life.
Chapter 13 dives deeper in to patience, specifically all of the things linked to lack of patience. One thing I'm still working on is the mistake of overvaluing instant gratification. I want it DONE…yesterday…in stellar fashion…all the time. Over the years, I've gotten better and have learned to focus on the journey. An important part of that journey, is also the failures that lead to success. I can think of tearfully, painful failures that have directly impacted some of the accomplishments for which I am most proud. Thinking more about lack of patience got me thinking about how many relationships (personal or professional) I’ve severed too soon. Furthermore, I'm grateful for the people in my life that had a bit more patience with me when I've been close to impossible in my drive for results. Yeah...patience is still a thing for me.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do is the read for when you are looking to control your emotions and have mental toughness. Again, it is one of my favorite books. Check it out.